Damn Right I’m From Cleveland

Your Guide to Makin’ It in America’s 47th Biggest City

Mike Polk, Jr.


Comedian Mike Polk Jr.’s ode to his hometown is a hilarious rustbelt satire in the spirit of his popular Web videos and standup routines. Polk (who calls himself a “comedic provocateur”) lampoons Cleveland’s quirks, including our boundless obsession with crappy sports teams, the quest to reinvent our civic image, and favorite odd local celebrities.

Softcover / 124 pages / 8.5 x 8.5 in. / 200 photos

ISBN: 9781938441073


Comedian Mike Polk Jr. has received more than 50 million views on YouTube alone for his witty Internet videos (“Hastily Made Tourism Video,” “Cleveland Browns: Factory of Sadness,” and others). Now he delivers the same wicked sense of humor in a book.

This hilarious rustbelt satire lampoons Cleveland’s quirks, including our boundless obsession with crappy sports teams, the nonstop quest to reinvent our civic image, and a grab-bag collection of odd local celebrities.

Polk tackles such timely topics as: Great Places to Take a Dump Downtown . . . Riding the RTA: A Fascinating Cultural Experience . . . A Cleveland Enemies Hall of Fame . . . A Comparison of Three Area Gentlemen’s Clubs . . . A Fabulous Remake of Cleveland’s Own Flag . . . and much more.

Full color photos throughout.

Additional information

Weight0.63 lbs
Dimensions8.5 × 8.5 × 0.25 in

Table of Contents


Foreword by the Cleveland Tourism Board

The Origin of Cleveland: Why Did This Happen?

Cleveland Has It’s Own Flag!

A Better Cleveland Flag!

Cleveland’s Indigenous Species

How Bone Thugs N Harmony Can Help You Avoid Danger

West Side vs. East Side

Cleveland’s Free Stamp

(Potential) Cleveland Bumper Stickers

Three Plans to Resurrect Downtown Cleveland

Higher Learning Opportunities!

Visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (Hurry, Before They Let Bon Jovi In!)

“Rock Hall 2”

Slider: What Are You and Why Do You Haunt Me?

Terrible Events in Cleveland Sports History

I Wish I Could Quit You

The Great Cleveland Brown Mustard Debate

Draw Your Own Lake Erie Monster!

One Thing That Bothers Me About the 1989 Movie “Major League”

Stuff that Has Happened Since Cleveland Won a Championship

A Heartfelt Plea to Browns Fans with Children

Ricky “Wrong Way” Davis’ Pathetic Triple-Double Attempt (My Favorite Cleveland Cavaliers Memory)

Become a Published Author!

The Chief Wahoo Mascot: Native Americans No Like ’Um

Cleveland Dating On the Cheap

Edgewater Beach Bingo

Mike Polk Jr.’s Favorite Cleveland Bars

A Guide to Cleveland Girls

Three Gentlemen’s Clubs of Cleveland

Great Lakes Brewing Company: A.K.A., The Main Reason Many of Us Haven’t Moved Yet

Mike Polk Jr.’s Local Celebrity Friends

Three Cute Cleveland Bartenders

Slam Poetry Time!

Those Cleveland Tourism Videos That Your Cousin Emailed You a Link To

The 98.5 Mike Polk Jr. Guarantee

Four Great Places to Take a Dump While Downtown

Cleveland Traffic Cameras: Where Can I Drive Recklessly Without Fear of Reprisal?

RTA Protocol

Lucky Make-a-Wish Page!

Cleveland Adventure Mad Libz

Cleveland Thrifting Like a Pro

Cleveland Enemy Hall of Fame

How and When to Tell Your Kids About “The Cleveland Steamer”

Lesser Known Northern-Ohio-Themed Sex Acts

Haunted Cleveland Landmarks

Four Swell Spots Around Cleveland that Make Me Temporarily Forget How Pointless and Bleak Man’s Existence Is

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