The Great Indoors

Favorites 1987–1996

Eric Broder

$13.95

Ever had someone tell you just a little too much about himself? Meet Eric Broder, who made a habit of doing this—in public! This book collects the best of Broder’s oddly pensive, occasionally bizarre, and frankly often embarrassing musings on daily life, written for Cleveland alternative papers between 1987 and 1996.

Softcover / 320 pages / 5.5 x 8.5 in. / 20 drawings / ISBN 9781886228344

Description

Ever had someone tell you just a little too much about himself? Meet Eric Broder, who made a habit of doing this—in the newspaper!

Certain classic elements make a humor column irresistible. Workplace humiliation, weird food, rotten vacations, cats getting rubdowns, sex machines, raging self-delusion, enraged babies, at-risk squirrels, and of course pitiful date fantasies with Madonna and Katarina Witt—pure catnip to the modern reader. At least, that is, if you judge by the regular readers of Broder’s “The Great Indoors” newspaper column.

Between 1987 and 1996, Eric Broder captivated and even astonished readers of Cleveland’s alternative weeklies with just such intimate and rarely believable details from his own remarkable life.

And he did it with remarkable style. In fact, Broder’s writing style has been said to recall an unholy combination of Dave Barry, Barry White, Dr. Laura, Super Joe Charboneau, Walt Disney, and former Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker Jack Lambert.

This book is a treasure sure to be cherished throughout the millenium. Or at least to be left in the bathroom until it gets too mildewed to pick up. Either way, it will change your life.

Additional information

Weight0.82 lbs

Table of Contents

Preface

Introduction

The 60 Minutes Nightmare

Amazing Stories!

California, Here I Come

A Fabulous Trip

Reincarnation

Shortstop Julius Frankel

Dawgs

Automotive Desire

Beloved Christmas Memories

What to Do for Your Valentine

Human Baseball Failings

Horny

Happy Teeth

Mr. Dough-Re-Mi

My Advice to J. D. Salinger

Party! Party!

In Dreams

Bank Shots

Audio Madness

Into the Woods

Secret Squirrels

Prescription: Meat

A Few Odd Resolutions

A Message from Pleasantville

Cheeping and Squeaking

Hello, I Must Be Going

You’re Fired

Job Hunting: Boring or Stupid?

King Kong vs. Patty Duke

A Cheap Uncle

Momentous Events of 1989

Browns Notes

The Great Indoors: The Movie

Why I Am Not a Mercenary

My Right Foot

Walking and Dogs

Nightmare on 60 Minutes, Part II

Me and the Champ

Up in Michigan

The Great Insomnia Battle

Toot, Toot, Tootie, Good-Bye

My Hot Date with Ivana Trump!

Stop Bothering Me

On the Wedding Trip

Some Birthday

Fashion: Pants and Stains

Attack of the Kitten People

Impending Domestic Bliss

Yet Another Injury

Before the Trip to New York

New York, New York

Thoughts on Dizzy

Chips: The Greatest

Dream Boyfriend

Baby Shower

Again, Ahead of the Pack

Bat!

The I-Team Nightmare

Why I Am a Sex Machine

Going to the Grocery Store

The Greatest Vacation of All Time

You’ll Hear from My Psychologist

Ask the Cat Man

A Trip to Gander Mountain

How to Sit with Babies

Pretzels: The Inside Story

My Hot Date with Katarina Witt!

Mr. Hospitality

Mutual Interaction with the Animal World

Hardened Earwax: The Inside Story

My Congressional Campaign Speech

Why I Am Anal Retentive

A Thanksgiving Menu Plan

Raymond Burr in a Lump

Big Plans for ’93

Eating Healthy Organic Food

The Joy of Mel

Indoor Tips for Gents

Why I Am a Finn

I Am an Auto Consultant

No Cocktail Tacos at This Wedding

Behavior In and Around Bathrooms

The Truth About Cussin’ Jobs

An Excellent Leasing Adventure

My Nice Time with Madonna!

Assorted Honeymoon Worries

Tense Shopping Situations

The Married Sex Machine

The Submariner

Life and Death Questions

A Philosophy on Aging

The Chairman Will Rule

Fabio and Me on Love

A Very Clinton Holiday

Cry of the Timberwolf

A Valentine from the Sex Machine

Designing Your Indoors

The Indoor Performance Art Festival

Hoe to Eat to Not Be Dead

The Bitter Truth About Tots

Glad You Asked!

New Levels of Being Boring

Buzzards Ripped My Flesh

The 42 Key Marital Phrases

The Dogs of Summer

Death of a Salesman

Looking to Feed Somebody

Secrets of Swinging Singles

Your Pal the Colon

Vexing Questions

The World’s Oldest Dad

Path of the Grocery People

How We Put Out a Newspaper

A Day in the Life

Death of a Garden Celebrity

Baywatch: Symbols and Themes

Film Festival Losers

Partying Down with Tots

Jobs I Lucked Out On

Secrets of Fine Writers

Is the Cat Dizzy Crazy?

The Joy of Gloating

A Poet, But I Know It

Plusses and Minuses of Turning 40

The Indoors Fall TV Preview

No More Mr. Nice Guy

Tribe Psychosis

James Bond Indoors

Sundays Will Never Be the Same

Cleaning Fashion 1996

Beating “Winter Blues”

Valentine from a Prince

Why I Talk to Food

Natural Stuff Explained

The NFL Owner’s Manual

Indoor Style Tips

Fun in the Office

Tacos and Aging

I Wanna Do TV News

Ways I’d Rather Not Die

Who Will Be My Lady?

The Indoors Academy Exam

How to Get Yourself a Date

The Sound of Mucus

Blowing the Lid off Squirrels

If You Had to Read This Column

A Very Nixon Holiday

Obituaries

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